Stepping Out of Survival Mode

I recently had the opportunity to attend a professional development workshop called: The Secret to Happiness: Retraining Your Brain.

We talked a little about the science behind why we are the way we are, and why it’s more natural to lean towards the negative. In short, our brains are wired for survival. There are basically 2 sides of the brain; thinking and feeling.

Our brains have a natural tendency towards survival: How do I not get eaten alive today? But, if you think about it, this is very primitive. There is no actual real threat of being eaten alive. The textbook definition of survival is, “the state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances.”

You probably deal with a number of “ordeals” in a given day that seem life-altering at the time, but aren’t that big of a deal. Or maybe your mind makes them a bigger deal than they are. Our brains are also wired to notice, anticipate and react to negative situations. Again, in early times those negative situations were equated to encountering an eaten-alive scenario. Whereas today, something as simple as it being Monday, seems like a stressful situation.

I learned that for every negative experience you encounter, it takes at least 5 positive experiences to overcome that negative one. I was surprised by this, but it also completely made sense. The reason we can’t move forward in certain situations is because we can’t quite get to that ratio, before something else happens that throws us off. Or, we continue to amplify (relive) the negative, not giving our brains (or hearts) a chance to move on.

At least, not unless we are mindful of what is happening. And that’s why I want to share these 7 strategies to achieve happiness + highlight the 2 that you can implement TODAY.

Strategy 1 - Amp up the positives - Be mindful

Be mindful of the moments that bring you pleasure and happiness. And revel in their glory! I’ve been reading more about the concept of “mindfulness” where you are completely in tune with the present situation and really take in the moment of what’s happening. Don’t overthink. Don’t over-analyze. When you take a break to be mindful, you’re sending positive signals to your brain, starting the rewiring process.

Strategy 2 - Be your own champion - Check your self-talk

Know that your inner critic can be your worst and negative self-talk has to go! When approaching new or challenging situations, take a moment to observe the things you are telling yourself. Negative self-talk leads to negative self-fulfilling prophecies, which rob you of your happiness.

Strategy 3 - Label your feelings - Honor your thoughts and feelings

Stop ignoring the many thoughts and feelings that you experience throughout the day. I think we even have to allow space for the distractions that come to mind, especially when we’re trying to focus on something. If you won’t acknowledge your thoughts and feelings internally, you probably won’t expect others to acknowledge them either. This is the second piece of recognizing the moments of pleasure and happiness. Once you feel it, label it, say it out loud, make your brain aware that this is what happiness feels like for you.

Strategy 4 - Find your signature strengths - Focus on "I am not I am not"

In the workshop, it was recommended that we complete a strength assessment to figure out where our strengths are and put more energy into the things that we do well, rather than the things that we don’t do well. Here’s the link to the one recommended www.authentichappiness.org, which also happens to be the same assessment that my mentor, Rosetta Thurman recommends in her book.

Strategy 5 - Experience “flow” - Find your purpose

Flow is described as an intense state of pleasurable activity where you lose track of time. That type of “flow” allows you to move into your zone where endorphins are released and your brain responds with happy thoughts and feelings. It was said that when you experience flow, you are more connected to the process than the outcome. As I was listening to this,I thought about purpose. When you have purpose, even the little distractions are easier to handle, because you understand that everything puts you closer to your purpose. And if it doesn't sreve your purpose, you have permission to let it go.

Here's what you need to do TODAY

Strategy 6 - Make a decision - Just do it

The stress of not making a decision is weighing on your heavier than actually making the decision and standing by it. Most decisions you make are good enough, and you have to stand by them. Don’t let perfection be the enemy of moving forward. Make the choice. You can always make a different choice, but you need to make a decision. What are you stalling on? Make the decision right now and experience the weight being lifted!

Strategy 7 - Harness the power of gratitude and forgiveness - Invite happiness to the party

Gratitude is a powerful tool. Being mindful enough to be thankful for what you are experiencing in this moment, even if it feels like hell sends signals to the universe that you can handle this life. And God has created you to handle your peaks and valleys! When you are grateful for a little, God will pour out a lot. The second piece is forgiveness. Are you experiencing unhappiness because of someone's else mistakes or hangups? Don't. Easier said than done, but work on forgiving people that aren't sorry. Be released from their bondage, they don't deserve to have that much power over you!

#wisdom #gratitude #strengths #support #happiness #strategy #overcomingfear